


(waiting for the day) i’ve embraced the night

by zoeysdianetti



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/F, actually i’m not, angst yay, based on they both die at the end by adam silvera, he gave me the idea so blame him for this, i’m just a sad gay who wants people to suffer, they’re both gonna die i’m sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-26
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2020-07-20 14:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 12,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19993672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoeysdianetti/pseuds/zoeysdianetti
Summary: Gina gets called by Death Cast, an organisation that calls you to tell you you have 24h or less left to live. Join me in this story about how she spends her last day together with Rosa before she dies.A story filled with angst based on “They Both Die At The End” by Adam Silvera.





	1. 12:34am

It’s 12:34am when Gina hears the alert. She’s shocked by it, so shocked that she drops her phone. The alert doesn’t stop. She picks her phone up from the floor and looks at her screen. 

**Death Cast is calling.**

Gina doesn’t want to pick up her phone, as if it would not be real if she just ignores it. Then everything becomes silent again. She stares at her phone.

**1 missed call: Death Cast.**

The alert starts over.

**Death Cast is calling.**

Gina decides to just give in. They won’t stop calling her until she picks up her phone.

“Hello,” she says, voice trembling.

“Hello, this is Emily from Death Cast. Is this Gina Linetti?

“Yes.”

“Hello Gina. I’m very sorry to be calling you, but I have bad news.”

“Yeah no shit. I’m gonna die today. Thanks for calling Emily, goodbye.”

Gina hangs up her phone before Emily can say anything else. She doesn’t need to hear everything she has to say about lame activities for Deckers, and she certainly doesn’t want to hear “We’re very sorry to lose you.” Not sure about what she should do now that she got the alert, Gina gets out of bed and walks around her apartment pointlessly. 

Eventually she sits down on her couch and thinks about the shitty phone call. Death Cast calls people between midnight and 3am to tell them they only have 24 hours or less left to live. Gina can’t believe they called her. She’s not old and in perfect health, which means she’ll most likely not die of natural causes. She could get shot, drown in the Hudson, trip and fall down the stairs and so many more things. When she realises she’s spiralling, she does the only thing she can still think of: she calls Rosa.

“Babe, what’s up?” Rosa casually greets her girlfriend when she picks up her phone.

“I got the alert,’ Gina says. There is no emotion to be detected in her voice. Just the cold, hard fact that tomorrow she won’t be around anymore.

Rosa is quiet for a moment, but then Gina hears a soft sob.

“I’m coming over right away,” Rosa says. “Don’t go anywhere, please stay safe. Please.”

“I’ll try. I just won’t move, you have your key, right?”

“Yes,” Rosa manages to get out. “I’ll be right there. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Gina says right before hanging up. Tears are welling up in her eyes. This is the first time she realised her death would actually affect people. People will keep living their lives without her. Her mother, her friends, the Nine-Nine. Rosa will be left alone. It scares the shit out of her. Gina feels silly just sitting curled up on the couch, but she doesn’t want to take any risks. She needs to see Rosa before she dies.

  
  


After 30 minutes of just sitting, not being able to do anything but get lost in her own thoughts, Gina finally hears a key turn in her lock. For a brief moment she’s scared it’s not Rosa, but rather someone who came in to kill her before she had a chance to see her girlfriend one last time, but then dark curls appear through the door between her hall and living room.

“Babe!” Rosa yells while running towards Gina. She pulls her into a tight embrace and refuses to let go for a few minutes. When she  _ does _ let go, tears are streaming down her face. Gina wants to say something, tell Rosa she’s okay, but she can’t. Because she’s not okay. She has the right not to be okay. She’s going to die today. So instead of saying something, she brings her face closer to Rosa’s until their lips touch. When they pull away, Gina is crying too.

“I’m sorry,” she says, wiping away a tear. It’s useless, because more tears keep falling down.

“Don’t be. You can’t control this. I’m just glad we have Death Cast so at least I can prepare a little. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to lose you though. I love you so much.”

“I love you so much too. And right now I’m here, with you. Let’s not think about dying yet. I just want this to be a normal day. Can we not tell anyone about this please?”

Rosa wants to protest, she wants to tell Gina it’s selfish to keep this to herself, but it’s not up to her. It’s Gina’s last day and she should get to decide who knows and who doesn’t, so all Rosa says is: “Okay.”

They sit in silence for a minute, until the Death Cast alert starts blaring again.

“For fuck’s sake, was calling me one time not enough? I already know I’m gonna die motherfuckers, just let me live in peace now please,” Gina yells at her phone. It’s face down on the coffee table. Of course the alert doesn’t stop just because Gina is yelling at it, so she grabs her phone, planning on yelling at Emily again, but she’s shocked to see there’s no trace of an alert to be seen on her screen, although the sound is still there. It takes a minute before they both realise what’s happening. 

“No,” Gina says in disbelief. “No, it can’t be!”

The alert stops. Rosa wants to take her phone out of her pocket, but Gina stops her.

“Don’t look. Please. I don’t think I can handle it,” she begs.

Rosa takes Gina in her arms. Both girls are softly sobbing, ignoring the alert as the sound fills the living room for the second time.

“Don’t pick up. Don’t. Please. Maybe it all won’t be real if we ignore it,” Gina rambles.

Rosa doesn’t let go of Gina. She doesn’t take out her phone, even though she knows she’ll have to listen to the message eventually. They sit like this for a while, just two girls, sobbing on a couch. When they hear the alert for the fourth time, Rosa decides to answer the phone call.

“Hello.”

Gina can’t hear what’s being said on the other side of the line, and actually, she’s not sure she wants to. Deep down she hopes Death Cast made a mistake. Maybe they called the wrong person, maybe they—

“Yes. This is her.”

It’s only four words, but it breaks Gina. They asked if she is Rosa Diaz and she said yes. Rosa is going to die in the next 24 hours.

“Can you tell me—”

Rosa is cut off by the person at the other side. No, Death Cast can’t tell you how or when exactly you will die. Everyone knows this, but it was worth a shot, right?

“Okay. Thank you.”

Rosa doesn’t hang up the phone yet, the other person is still talking. Gina assumes they’re saying their stupid catchphrase.

“Well yeah, I’m sorry to lose me too. Goodbye.”

Now Rosa  _ does _ hang up the phone. She closes her eyes for a moment, and when she looks up again after what feels like ages, she looks at Gina with tears in her eyes.

“At least I won’t have to live without you,” she sniffs.

“Don’t say that,” Gina says. “You’re going to survive this day.”

“Gines… When Death Cast calls, it’s over. No-one has ever outlived their deadline. We have to face it. Both of us will die today. We better make the best out of it, instead of just sitting here all day.”

Gina nods, knowing she has to face reality. She’s gonna lose Rosa today. And Rosa is gonna lose her.


	2. 1:47am

At 1:47am, Rosa leaves the apartment, followed by Gina.

“Should we take the elevator?” Rosa asks.

“We could get stuck in there. The cables could break and it could fall down. So no.”

Rosa nods. Any other day she would have made fun of Gina for being paranoid, but not today. Gina is right, they need to be careful. They take the stairs to go down, paying attention to where they are putting their feet and holding on tight to the banisters. Right before they go outside, Gina stops Rosa.

“Wait. It’s safer inside.”

“We already went over this. We’re gonna die anyway, so we should go outside and make the best of it.”

“Yeah, I know and we’re going to, but what do you want to do? I already told you I want this to feel like a regular day, but you haven’t told me what you still want to do before you die.”

Rosa thinks about this for a while.

“I want to see my parents and tell them I’m bi. I want them to know I have a girlfriend whom I love very much. And I want to go to the precinct.”

“You’re gonna introduce me to your parents?” Gina asks in disbelief. They have been dating for over a year, but Rosa never told her parents because she was scared of how they’d react. From what Gina has heard, they’re very conservative and don’t exactly like LGBTQ+ people, so Rosa never came out to them.

“I don’t want to die without telling them. I can’t keep this a secret forever. Plus, if they react poorly I don’t have time to dwell on it since I’m gonna die anyway.”

“Please don’t say that. I know it’s the truth, but it still hurts.”

“I’m sorry babe.”

“So what do you want to do until then? It’s the middle of the night, I don’t think this is a great time to show up at your parents’ house.”

“I’m pretty sure Jake is still awake, maybe we could go there?”

Gina nods. She also wants to see her childhood best friend before it’s too late.

“I think I want to see my mom too,” she says. “I can’t just leave her in the dark about what’s gonna happen.”

Now it’s Rosa’s turn to nod.

“So, we go to Jake and Amy’s now, then when it’s morning we can go with them to the precinct, and then we’ll go to our parents?”

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea,” Gina says. “Time to go outside now I guess?”

Rosa opens the door and steps outside. The street is almost empty, there are only a few cars and some drunk people. Rosa decides drunk people can be dangerous and leads Gina in the opposite direction.

  
  


They get to Jake and Amy’s safely, although they had to take a little detour. Gina knocks on the door, remembering the time she rang the doorbell at 3am and woke Amy up. Not that she cares, but Jake does and she respects it.

“Gina, Rosa! What a surprise, hi,” Jake greets them.

“Hi Jake. Mind if we come in?”

“Of course not, just be quiet please. Amy is asleep and she has the worst temper when I wake her up.”

Gina and Rosa enter the apartment and take off their shoes. They follow Jake into the living room, where  _ Die Hard with a vengeance  _ is playing on the tv. Jake turns it off and asks if they want to drink something. Gina and rosa both say no, so Jake goes to the kitchen and returns with only an orange soda for himself.

“So why are you guys here this late?”

Rosa looks at Gina, wondering if Gina wants to tell Jake the real reason they’re there or just make something up.

“We both got the alert,” Gina says. Rosa is happy Gina decided to be honest to her best friend. In her opinion, he had a right to know.

“Alert? Which ale— Oh. Oh no.”

Tears jump in his eyes.

“Guys, I can’t lose you. I can’t,” he sobs.

“I’m sorry Jake,” Gina says. “We don’t want to lose each other either, but what can we do about it? We got the alert. It’s over.”

“No!” Jake yells, tears streaming down his face.

“Jake, please calm down,” Rosa says.

“How? I’m gonna lose two of my fucking best friends! I’ve known Gina my whole life, you were my first buddy at the police academy. I can’t lose you both in one day!”

“Jake, please stop yelling,” Gina whispers while wrapping her arms around him. He releases all the tension he was holding and continues softly sobbing.

“Babe, why are you yelling? Shut up please.”

Amy walks into the living room. Her hair is a mess, she has a blanket wrapped around her and she looks like she’s about to murder Jake for waking her up.

“You know I have to work tomorrow, I need to sleep. And why are Rosa and Gina here? Don’t you guys have to work too tomorrow?”

Gina and Rosa look at each other, both not sure what to do or say. Only then Amy notices her crying boyfriend, wrapped up in Gina’s arms. She runs toward him, kneels beside them and kisses his hair.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“I can’t lose them,” Jake whispers in between sobs.

“Who is them?”

Rosa takes over, she knows Jake won’t be able to explain it all to Amy.

“Gina and I are them. We got the alert and we had to come over and tell you guys before it was too late.”

Amy looks shocked.

“I’m so sorry guys. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. You can’t help it, and neither can we. We’re gonna die and that’s nobody’s fault. Everyone dies at some point and for us it is today.”

“But, both of you?”

“Yeah, both of us.”

They all sit on the floor, no-one really sure what there’s left to say anymore. Everyone tries to sit as close together as possible, cherishing what might be their last moments together. Rosa puts her head on Gina’s shoulder and softly kisses her neck. Gina turns her head and places her lips on her girlfriend’s. Jake has finally calmed down and is laying in Amy’s arms, half asleep. And Amy? Amy is softly humming a lullaby, trying to forget about the horrible news.


	3. 7:15am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it wasn’t clear before: Deckers are people who got the Death Cast alert and will die today

At 7:15am, Rosa’s alarm on her phone starts blaring. Gina mutters something, still half asleep. She picks it up, turns off the alarm and yawns. She barely got any sleep last night. Her back hurts, and when she looks around she sees why. Gina’s head is laying in her lap, Amy’s head is on her shoulder and Jake is leaning on Amy. They’re all sitting on the floor, backs against Jake and Amy’s couch. Then Rosa remembers why they’re all sitting here like this. She and Gina came over in the middle of the night because they got the Death Cast alert.

“Gina? Wake up babe.”

“Mmmh just five more minutes.”

Rosa moves her shoulder, shaking Amy awake.

“Rosa? Why’d you wake me up?”

“It’s time to get ready for work.”

This immediately shakes Amy awake. She jumps up, letting poor Jake fall down on the floor. He grimaces, rubbing the painful spot on his head. Rosa lives closer to the precinct than Jake and Amy and she takes less time to get ready, since she doesn’t have to worry about her clothes matching or giving herself a peptalk in the mirror like Amy does, so her alarm goes off later than Amy’s. Amy didn’t hear her three alarms because they’re in the bedroom and she’s in the living room. All of this makes Amy go in full panic mode about being late. She quickly changes into a pantsuit and brushes her teeth in the kitchen, so Gina and Rosa can use the bathroom together to save time.

  
  


Not much later, they’re all in Amy’s car, heading to the precinct.

“Are you sure it’s safe to drive with two Deckers in the car?” she asks.

“We didn’t get the alert so we should be fine. And even if it’s not safe for us, what are we gonna do? Leave our friends behind? Let them walk the entire way? You know how much could go wrong for Deckers walking through the streets of New York,” Jake says.

“You’re right.”

  
  


They get to the precinct without any incidents, so Amy parks the car and they all head upstairs. They’re a little late, but who cares on a day like this? The elevator opens, revealing the bullpen. The whole squad is already present. Captain Holt comes out of his office, looking stoic as always.

“You are all late. Do you have an explanation for this?”

“I didn’t hear my alarm, I’m sorry sir,” Amy says.

“Didn’t you have three alarms with battery backup?” Terry asks.

“You’re not understanding this right Sarge. The alarms went off, but Amy just didn’t hear them. None of us did, we were all sleeping in the living room,” Jake says.

“But why?” Holt asks.

Jake and Amy look at Gina and Rosa, who are looking at each other. They’re having an entire conversation without saying a word. Their eyes say everything that’s needed. Eventually they break eye contact and Rosa gets up on Boyle’s desk.

“Attention everyone. Gina and I have an announcement to make.”

Everyone looks at her expectantly.

“We both got the alert. We’re gonna die today.”

This silences the whole bullpen. It’s like a blanket was put over them and now everything is muffled.

“I also have a second announcement to make. I hope in a few minutes Gina and I won’t be dating anymore.”

Confused noises rise up from the crowd. Gina stares at her, looking like she can start crying any moment now. Rosa gets down from Charles’s desk, walks towards Gina and gets down on one knee.

“Gina, I’ve loved you since day one and today will be our last day together. I had something better planned, but we don’t have more time, so I’ll have to do it now.”

She reaches in the pocket of her jacket and takes out a tiny, dark blue box.

“Gina Linetti, will you marry me?”

Gina, who looked like she was about to cry only two minutes ago, is now sobbing and frantically nodding yes. The sad cry became a happy cry because she’s gonna marry Rosa freaking Diaz. It’s very out of character for her to show what she’s feeling like this, but no-one says anything about it. Rosa gets up, slides the ring over Gina’s finger and kisses her. She’s crying too now. The whole squad is applauding and Charles is at the verge of passing out.

“Captain, you’re ordained, right?”

“Yes.”

“Would you please marry us?”

  
  


Not even thirty minutes later the bullpen is transformed and wedding-proof thanks to Charles, who got some boxes of holiday decorations. It’s a mix of Halloween, Christmas and Thanksgiving, but it’s perfect. Gina and Rosa are both standing in front of captain Holt. Everyone in the building who could put their work on hold for a minute did it and gathered in the bullpen.

“Diaz, Linetti. We’re gathered here today because you’re getting married. I’ll let you take it from here, because I’m sure you’ll have more to say to each other than I could.”

Rosa takes Gina’s hands in hers and takes a deep breath.

“Gines, if someone told me yesterday I would stand here with you today, in the middle of the bullpen, about to get married, I would have kicked them in the stomach so hard their belly touched their back. But here we are, and I’m happy about it. If we had more time, I would have said something cheesy about spending the rest of our lives together, but that wouldn’t make sense right now. I love you Gina.”

Gina softly squeezes Rosa’s hand. She’s crying, just like most of the people around them.

“Rosa. My sweet, badass Rosa. When you said you hoped we wouldn’t be dating anymore less than an hour ago, I was about to kill you, but now I couldn’t be happier. This is not the wedding I dreamed of, because that would need  _ way _ more glitter and a pretty dress. And yet, I don’t even mind. I’m just happy I’m here with you and our friends right now. And unlike you, I will say the cheesy shit you don’t want to say. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You’re not allowed to leave my side for the rest of our lives, I never want to live without you anymore. I love you, Rosa Diaz.”

“Then I believe it’s time for the next part of this wedding. Do you, Rosa Diaz, take Gina Linetti to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.”

“And do you, Gina Linetti, take Rosa Diaz to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I sure as hell do.”

“By the power vested in me by the state of New York, I now pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

Gina steps closer to Rosa and grabs her around her waist. She stands up on her tippy toes and kisses Rosa. Everyone around them is either applauding or wiping away tears. When Gina’s lips leave Rosa’s, she rests her forehead against her wife’s. She still can’t believe it. Rosa is her  _ wife _ . And for a moment, she forgets about all the bad things that are happening. There is only happiness, love and her  _ wife _ .


	4. 9:23am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this took me so long to update! the schoolyear has started, i’ve had an exam and everything has been kinda hectic, but i’m back to writing now!

At 9:23am, Rosa and Gina are in the locker room, cleaning out their lockers. Well, Rosa is cleaning out her locker. Gina is on the phone with her mom to check if she’s home today. Rosa goes through all of her stuff that she kept in her locker and decides she won’t need most of it anymore. Amy can have the spare sweater she keeps in her locker and maybe her axe too. Despite Rosa’s many comments about it, Amy never got an axe for herself, so this might be her chance. Jake can have her knives, she’s sure he’ll be thrilled about them. She starts making little piles, one for each of her coworkers. When Rosa’s locker is almost empty, she sees a second sweater. It confuses her for a minute, because she always thought she only had one at work. As far as she can recall, she was never missing one of her sweaters at home. She grabs it and folds it open. In large, white letters it reads “Gina knows best”. Rosa looks behind her. Gina is still on the phone, her back turned to Rosa. Rosa smiles and puts the sweater in her backpack. Gina finally hangs up her phone and turns around to face Rosa, who is surrounded by tiny piles of her things.

“What are you gonna do with those?” she asks, pointing at the piles.

“Giving them away. This one is for Amy,” Rosa points at one of the piles. “This one is for Charles,” she points at another pile. “Anyway, there’s something for everyone. I don’t need it anymore, so I figured they might want it.”

“I’m sure they’ll like the gesture babe.”

“Do you think it’s weird if I give them my stuff?”

“No, I’m sure they’ll be glad to have something that reminds them of you. Don’t worry about it too much.”

Gina leans in closer and kisses Rosa. It seems to calm her down.

“Should we go get everyone?” Gina asks.

Rosa nods. They walk out of the locker room together. On their way back to the bullpen, they pass Holt.

“Did you get a chance to empty your lockers?” he asks.

“Yes. I’m actually giving away most of my stuff, since I won’t need it anymore,” Rosa replies. “We’re getting everyone now. I also have something for you captain.”

“That is very nice of you. I’m going to the bathroom for a moment, but I’ll come to the locker room soon.”

Rosa nods and she and Gina continue their way to the bullpen. Gina gets up on a chair to get everyone's attention.

“Listen up everyone! My amazing wife emptied her locker for obvious reasons, but she doesn’t wanna keep everything. Can everyone go to the locker room please?”

Everyone follows Rosa. Gina gets down from the chair and stops Hitchcock and Scully.

“You can stay here. I don’t even want to imagine what you would do with Rosa’s stuff.”

“Fair enough,” Hitchcock says.

They return to their desks and Gina follows the others to the locker room.

“Okay, so, I’ve emptied my locker and I decided I don’t need any of this stuff anymore. There is something for each of you. You can just throw it away of you don’t need it or whatever,” Rosa says.

“I’m not gonna throw anything away,” Amy says, tearing up.

“You have to decide for yourself. This is for you.”

Rosa hands her the sweater and her axe.

“Damn, Amy gets an axe?” Jake exclaims.

“Don’t worry Jake, you get something cool too.”

Rosa hands him the knives and Jake’s eyes light up, until he remembers why he gets them.

“Charles, I thought you might want the mother dough back. It was in Gina’s locker, I took it out for you.”

“Thank you so much Rosa. I will feed her and nurture her, just like—”

“Yeah, I’m gonna stop you right there Boyle,” Gina interrupts. “Your metaphors are always terrible and/or gross.”

“Good call.”

“Terry, I don’t have a lot for you in my locker, but there’s some of my moose tracks ice cream left, you can have it if you want.”

“Thanks Rosa.”

“Then I guess the only one left is Holt. Where is he?”

“Probably still in the bathroom,” Gina says.

“That long? He’s usually very efficient in there.”

“I’ll just go check,” Gina offers.

“I think it’s better if I go Gines,” Jake suggests. “It’s the men’s room after all.”

“Gender is a construct, we don’t need dumb, seperate bathrooms. Besides, I hang out in the men’s room all the time.”

“Alright fine, but I’m coming with you.”

Gina, Rosa and Jake head to the men’s room, all the others return to their desks.

“Sir? Are you in here?” Jake asks.

There is nobody in the bathroom. Gina squats down and checks the stalls.

“I can see his feet in the left one. Sir, open up please.”

He doesn’t answer.

“His pants are up, I’m picking the lock,” Rosa mumbles.

The door flies open and reveals Holt, sitting on a closed toilet seat with tears in his eyes, looking devastated.

“Sir, are you crying?” Jake asks.

Holt wipes his eyes and just nods.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen him show this much emotion,” Gina says.

“It’s okay to be sad sir, but everything will be fine. Gina and I might not be there to see it anymore, but everything will be fine without us.”

“Thank you for acknowledging my feelings.”

Holt gets up and comes out of the stall.

“I’m sorry for making such a scene. You asked me to come to the locker room earlier. Shall we go there?”

“No, it’s fine. Everyone is already back to work. I just wanted to give you this.”

Rosa hands him a classical music compilation cd.

“I got this for your birthday, but I won’t be able to give it to you then.”

“Thank you, detective Diaz. This means a lot to me. I will miss you around the precinct.”

“Thank you, captain.”

They all leave the bathroom in silence. Jake walks over to Amy’s desk, where she’s sitting, wearing Rosa’s sweater. He doesn’t say anything, just holds her close. Rosa and Gina walk to the elevator. Darlene let them know she was home so they’re on their way there. Holt goes to his office and closes the blinds. He puts the cd Rosa just gave him in a player and listens to it. A single tear runs down his cheek.


	5. 11:46am

At 11:46am, Gina and Rosa get in the elevator at the precinct. It isn’t until the doors close that Gina realises what she’s done.

“Babe! We need to get out!”

“Why?”

“The elevator! It could be dangerous!”

“So could the stairs. This is faster. We use it everyday, nothing has ever gone wrong. Why would today be any different?” Rosa tries to soothe Gina.

“Because we got the alert. It might be a sign that today the elevator will fall down.”

The doors open again, they’re all the way down.

“See, nothing went wrong. We’re safe Gines. I promise you I’ll keep you safe.”

They leave the precinct and head over to Gina’s mom’s house first. Because they drove to the precinct with Jake and Amy, they have to walk now. It’s not that far, only a 30 minute walk. Rosa decides walking through the park might be safer, so they turn right. Soon, they’re surrounded by trees and playing kids with their parents.

“Can you believe we never get to do this?” Gina asks.

“What? Walk in the park?”

“No. Have kids. I’ve actually always wanted a daughter.”

“Yeah, kids are cute. I’m not sure I would have wanted them though. I don’t think I could take care of them,” Rosa sighs. “But none of that matters now anyway.”

“Hey, can I tell you a story?”

“Sure.”

“Alright, it might be a little bit weird, but I want you to know this before we lose each other.”

“That sounds dramatic, even for you,” Rosa laughs.

God, Gina is gonna miss that laugh. It makes Rosa’s eyes light up, she gets little wrinkles around her eyes and it’s the cutest thing in the world to Gina.

“Gines? You were gonna tell me something. What are you looking at?”

Gina doesn’t say anything. Instead, she stops walking, grabs Rosa’s hands and pulls her closer. She places her lips on Rosa’s and closes her eyes. Rosa’s lips might make a great smile, but they’re also _very_ useful for kissing. When Gina pulls away, Rosa has that smile on her face again, and for a moment, Gina forgets all about dying. Just for one, little moment.

“Okay, promise me you won’t leave me after this story,” Gina begins.

“I promised you I wouldn’t when we got married and I still mean it.”

“It was only a few hours ago, it would be weird if you’d start breaking promises already.”

“I will never leave your side babe,” Rosa promises again.

“I almost had a child. When you were with Pimento, I was sad. I went on the Boyle family vacation and that actually made it worse.”

“I can understand that,” Rosa grimaces.

“Anyway, I got along pretty well with Milton, one of the cousins. We got drunk one night and woke up naked together the next morning. Sort of like what happened with Charles too.”

Gina shudders at the memory of her and her coworker sleeping together. It’s not her proudest moment.

“I don’t even know if I gave him consent, but it was too late anyway. He became sort of like my rebound guy. I couldn’t have you, so I just hung out with him a lot during the vacation. We kissed sometimes after that one night, but only when nobody could see us. You know how the Boyles can get. We only had sex once and I didn’t talk to him again after the vacation, but when my period was late, I got worried. I got a pregnancy test and it turned out I was pregnant. Since he was the only one I had slept with, he had to be the father. I couldn’t tell him and I didn’t feel like having the baby would be the best decision for me. It would have no father and a mom with a busy life, so I decided to get an abortion. I never told anyone about it, except you right now.”

Rosa briefly stares at Gina before hugging her.

“I’m so sorry you had to keep it all to yourself. You could have told me. I would have understood.”

“I know, but I was embarrassed. There are people who want kids so badly and they can’t have them, but here I am, killing mine.”

“Babe… it’s not murder, believe me, I know what murder is. This kid wasn’t even a kid yet, it was just an embryo. You made the choice that felt right for you at that time and that’s your right.”

“Thanks Rosie. That actually makes me feel better. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Rosa kisses her wife and holds her tight. 

“You know, I actually made a list of baby names when I first found out I was pregnant,” Gina chuckles while wiping away a tear. “I still have it, just in case I ever decided I was ready for a kid. That will never happen now.”

“Why did you never tell me about it?”

“Because we’ve only been together for a year and five months. I didn’t wanna scare you off, you told me how you felt about having kids. I thought I would bring it up when we’d been dating a little bit longer and when we were both ready.”

“And look at us now. We got married today. Can you believe it?”

“I certainly didn’t plan on getting married when I woke up this morning,” Gina laughs.

“Can I see the list with baby names?”

“Sure, wait.”

Gina scrolls through the notes on her phone and hands it to Rosa when she finds what she’d been looking for. Rosa lets her eyes slide across the names. They are eccentric, to say the least.

“JerHonor, Rickshaw, Guac... Gines, are these actual names you were gonna give your kid?”

Gina softly punches Rosa’s arm.

“Don’t make fun of me. I like them. Is there really nothing you like on the list?”

Rosa takes a second look at the list.

“I like The Enigma. Also it would be dope to name your kid Devil, works for a boy or a girl.”

“You sounds like Jake, but yeah The Enigma was at the top of my list too. If the baby had been a boy, I could go with The Enigmo.”

“That’s cute,” Rosa grins.

“You’re cute,” Gina says. She pulls Rosa closer for a kiss, but Rosa jokingly pulls away and starts running.

“Catch me if you want that kiss,” she yells.

Gina wants to run after her, but she sees a scooter coming their way. It approaches Rosa at full speed. Rosa is running backwards, facing Gina, so she doesn’t see it coming.

“BABE, WATCH OUT,” Gina yells, leaping at her wife. She pulls Rosa aside and they land on top of each other on the side of the path. Rosa’s eyes are closed, her head is bleeding and her face is scraped.The scooter drives away, not lowering his speed at all.

“You just almost hit someone, can’t you at least respect the speed limit?” Gina screams, but the driver doesn’t hear her. She looks down for the first time since the fall and sees she scraped her hands on the asphalt. Then she sees Rosa and the blood on her face. Tears jump in her eyes.

“Rosa?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please don’t kill me


	6. 12:08am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was very uninspired so i’m sorry in advance

At 12:08am, Gina is kneeling next to a knocked-out Rosa on the side of a path in the park. Tears are streaming down her face. She’s too scared to check Rosa’s pulse, so she just keeps talking to her, hoping she’ll wake up. A stranger puts a hand on her shoulder.

“What happened?” the stranger asks.

Gina looks up and sees a blurry woman with kind eyes. She wipes away her tears and the woman is no longer blurry.

“Some freak almost hit her with his scooter. I pulled her aside but I think I made it worse,” Gina sniffs.

“Is she a Decker?”

Gina nods. “Or was. I don’t know, I’m too scared. I think I might be the reason she died and I can’t live with that thought.”

“Do you want me to check her pulse?”

Gina nods again. The woman carefully takes Rosa’s wrist and puts two fingers on a vein. She looks at Gina and smiles.

“Your friend is alive. You should take care of her wounds though. Try to wake her up.”

“Thank you so much,” Gina says, tearing up again. This time it’s tears of happiness. “What is your name?”

“I’m India. Nice to meet you…?”

“Gina. Nice to meet you too.”

“I should really get to work, Gina. Do you think you can take it from here?” India asks.

“Yes, thank you again.”

They say goodbye and India leaves. Gina turns to Rosa again and softly touches her face.

“Babe? Wake up please.”

Gina shakes Rosa carefully. Eventually she wakes up and looks at her wife.

“Wh— what happened?”

“Some dude almost ran you over. I was so scared. Are you okay?”

“My head hurts, but I think it’s fine. No biggie.”

“You’re bleeding a lot though. Should we go to the hospital?”

“No, really, it’s fine. Heads always bleed hard. We just need to clean the wound, but we can do that at your mom’s house.”

“Well, you went to medical school, so I guess you know best. Want me to help you up?”

Rosa nods and grabs Gina’s hands. She pulls her up and they continue walking. They’re almost there, they just have to leave the park and turn left.

  


When they arrive, Gina rings the doorbell.

“Who’s there?” sounds through the intercom.

“Mom, it’s me and Rosa.”

“Regina! Wait, I’ll buzz you in.”

The buzzer sounds and Gina pushes the door open. 

“Elevator?” Rosa asks.

“You almost died. I’m not taking any risks. It’s only three floors, we can take the stairs.”

Rosa just shrugs and follows Gina to the staircase. When they get to Darlene’s apartment, Rosa is out of breath.

“Are you sure you’re fine babe?”

“Yeah, it just turns out three floors up is more exhausting than I remember. I never take the stairs anymore.”

Gina knocks on the door.

“Mom! We’re here!”

Darlene opens the door and hugs Gina.

“Regina! It’s so good to see you.”

She nods at Rosa.

“Hi Rosa, good to see you too. Come in!”

They enter and take off their coats.

“You’re coming with me to the bathroom first Rosa,” Gina says. “We gotta take care of that wound. I wouldn’t want it to get infected.”

Rosa sighs. “I told you I was fine.”

“I’m just gonna clean the wound.”

Rosa gives in and follows Gina to the bathroom. Gina takes a towel from under the sink and wets it.

“Come here,” she orders.

Rosa sits down on the closed toilet seat and bows her head so Gina can easily access the wound. She dabs it with the towel, making sure she doesn’t hurt Rosa. The rinses the towel and dabs the wound again. This repeats a few times until all the blood is gone.

“There. I can’t do more than that, but at least it’s something.”

“Thank you. And really, I’m fine. You worry too much.”

Rosa kisses Gina, but Gina pulls away.

“I have a right to worry. You almost got run over and you passed out. Your face is bruised and your head is bleeding. I thought you were _dead_ Rosa. You act like none of this is a big deal, but it is. At least it is to me. I’m gonna worry about you all day, because I love you. But you just don’t care.”

“ _You_ were the one who didn’t wanna tell anyone it’s our End Day! You said you didn’t want anyone to worry about you! God, why are you suddenly being like this Gina?”

“Oh, so now this is all on me? Fine. I won’t take care of you anymore. I’ll just stay here, where it’s safe, while you go do a death ride because you feel like it. Because you wanna have fun. That sounds great, doesn’t it? Live reckless on your last day alive?”

“Calm down Gines, seriously! Why are you doing this? Why are you turning my words? You’re overreacting. Why?!”

“Because I’m scared!”

Gina lowers her voice, scared her mom will hear them.

“I’m fucking terrified Rosa. I don’t wanna lose you. I’m scared you’ll die first, that I’ll have to see the love of my life die. I’m scared we’ll leave a place and we won’t arrive to the next one.”

“I’m scared too. That’s okay. But we shouldn’t fight. It’s our last day, I don’t want the last thing I ever do to be fighting with you. I love you. So much.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

Rosa pulls Gina down, so they can sit with their backs against the wall. They’re both exhausted. Sleeping on the floor at Jake and Amy’s was not the best idea, and having to watch out for everything drains energy. Rosa puts her head on Gina’s shoulder.

“I wish we could stay like this forever,” she says.

“Me too,” Gina responds.

Rosa turns her head to Gina. “Can I kiss you now?”

“Yes you can dum-dum. Why do you ask?”

“You pulled away earlier. I thought maybe you didn’t—”

Rosa is interrupted by Gina’s lips on hers. It’s a short but sweet kiss and it leaves Rosa with a smile.

“I love you.”

“We should probably get out of here again. Who knows what your mom thinks we’re doing in here.”

“Yeah, you’re right. We should.”

“How are you gonna tell your mom?”


	7. 1:12pm

At 1:12pm, Gina and Rosa are sitting on Darlene’s couch, all three of them holding a cup of tea. Darlene is telling them about Lynn Boyle, they recently started dating. Gina already knew this, but it doesn’t make her less disgusted.

“Why are you so quiet Regina? You’ve never listened to me talking about him for more than five minutes without making any comments.”

“Sorry mom. I’m just not in the mood. I have something to tell you.”

“Let me guess… You’re gay?” Darlene jokes.

“Bitch, you know I’m not gay. I’m pan, it’s not the same. We’ve been over this.”

“I’m sorry Regina. What is it?”

Rosa grabs Gina’s hand and squeezes it.

“We got the alert,” Gina says, barely louder than a whisper. She and her mom may fight sometimes, but it’s still her _mom_. She can’t imagine what it would feel like to lose a child.

“No,” Darlene says. “You are not dying today. This is just like that time when you made Jake call my mom and tell her you were dead.”

“Mom, it’s true this time, I promise,” Gina says.

“No Regina. I am not taking these kinds of jokes anymore.”

“Well if you don’t believe me, ask Rosa. It’s her End Day too, maybe you’ll believe her,” Gina yells, tears welling up in her eyes.

“She’s speaking the truth miss Linetti,” Rosa says.

“Ofcourse you are in on this, you’re her girlfriend. Get out, both of you. Come back tomorrow and we’ll talk about this, but right now I don’t wanna see either of you,” Darlene snaps.

“Fine,” Gina says, getting up. “See you never. That’s not my problem though, I’ll be _dead_. Come on Rosa, we’re leaving.”

Rosa gets up and follows Gina out the door, not looking back at Darlene even once. Soon, they are out of the apartment building and out on the street. Gina collapses into Rosa’s arms, crying and sobbing, mumbling stuff about wanting a proper goodbye. Rosa softly strokes her hair in an attempt to comfort her.

“She’s in denial. She doesn’t want to accept her daughter might actually die. Do you wanna go back in? I understand if you don’t wanna leave after a fight like this.”

Gina lets go of Rosa and looks into her eyes.

“No. We’re leaving. You wanna see your parents too, let’s go there.”

She grabs her wife’s hand and they start walking away from Darlene’s apartment. Gina doesn’t want to look back anymore. She does however take out her phone to text Jake.

**Gina** : just went to my mom’s

 **Gina** : she didn’t take it well

 **Jakester** : what happened?

 **Gina** : she thought we were lying so i got mad n we left

 **Gina** : idk if i regret it or not

 **Gina** : this is on her tho, she didn’t wanna listen

 **Jakester** : sorry to hear that gines

 **Jakester** : anything i can do?

 **Gina** : nah it’s all good boo

 **Gina** : headin over to rosa’s parents now

 **Jakester** : okidoki, lmk if u need anything

Gina puts her phone away and smiles. She’ll always have Jake, he’s always right there when she needs him.

“Are we gonna walk all the way?” Rosa asks.

“How else would you wanna go?”

“We could take my bike. It’s still parked right by your apartment, which is not that far from here.”

“But what if something goes wrong? What if we get in an accident?” Gina panics.

“Babe, my parents live all the way in Queens. We can’t walk there. That would be more dangerous and a lot slower than taking my bike.”

Gina thinks about it for a moment. Then she starts overthinking. And then spiralling. She weighs the pro’s and cons. Pro: it’s faster, they might actually get to Rosa’s parents before they die. Con: riding a motorcycle is more dangerous than walking, they might die before they get there. Gina yelps when she feels Rosa’s cold hand squeezing hers.

“Babe, we’re gonna be fine. Don’t spiral. In this situation, taking my bike might be safer.”

“You’re right,” Gina admits. “Let’s go get it.”

They walk to Gina’s apartment in silence. When they arrive, Rosa goes upstairs to get her helmet. She left it there when they went to Jake and Amy because there’s no use in carrying it around when you’re not planning on using it. Gina waits downstairs for Rosa, because Rosa insisted there’s no need for them to both go upstairs to get one helmet. Gina knows it’s because Rosa is secretly scared they’ll fall down the stairs and die. Gina didn’t want to let her go alone at first, but they compromised: Rosa would go alone, but they would call each other so they would know if something was up.

“I’m coming back downstairs now babe,” Rosa says.

“Be careful.”

Two minutes later, Rosa is standing next to Gina, alive and well, with her helmet.

“Okay let’s go now.”

They walk back outside. Rosa hands Gina the spare helmet she keeps in the compartment of her bike and puts on her own. They mount the bike and Rosa turns the engine on.

“Hold on tight,” she says.

Soon, they’re roaring through the streets of Brooklyn. Rosa can feel Gina’s chest going up and down against her back. She always loved cruising on her bike with Gina. Gina’s arms around her, her breathing, her beating heart,... it always gave her a feeling of safety. Today, it scares her. She convinced Gina to get on her bike, which is a death machine on a day like today. They are vulnerable. She shakes the thoughts off. Her bike is safe. It has always been safe. It will be safe today. She keeps repeating those three sentences in her head, until she starts to believe them. Before she knows it, they’re in Queens. When they get to her parents’ house, she parks the bike and gets off. Gina has never been here before.

“Is this where they live?”

They’re standing in front of a small house, probably built in the seventies. It has two stories and three steps that lead to the front door.

“Yeah.”

Roa gets on the steps and hesitates just a moment before ringing the doorbell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really wanted to make the part at darlene’s house happy, i swear!! gina and rosa just weren’t having it i guess :((


	8. 2:31pm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i did not proofread this, so excuse me for any mistakes i might have made

At 2:31pm, Rosa rings the doorbell of her parents’ house. It takes a while before someone comes to the door.

“They might not be ho—”

The door opens and Rosa comes eye in eye with her mom.

“Hi mom.”

“ _ Mija _ !” 

Julia hugs Rosa, then she notices Gina.

“Who is this?” she asks.

“This is Gina. She works at the Nine-Nine.”

Julia steps aside, allowing Gina and Rosa to come in. They walk into the living room, where Oscar is sitting on the couch watching tv.

“What brings the both of you here?” Julia asks. “Do you want something to drink?”

Rosa declines the offer and hugs her dad, who has turned the tv off. Gina is still awkwardly standing in the doorway.

“Gines, come in, sit down with us,” Rosa says.

“Is this Gina?” Oscar asks. “We’ve heard a lot about you.”

“You have?” Gina asks.

“Of course, Rosa talks about you a lot. You seem to be very good friends.”

“We are,” Gina says, not wanting to say anything about their relationship before she’s sure Rosa won’t change her mind.

Julia comes out of the kitchen with a glass of water for herself and sits down with the rest of them.

“So, you still haven’t answered my question Rosalita. What brings you here?”

Rosa takes a deep breath and stands up.

“There’s something I want to tell you. I’ve known this about myself for a really long time, so please, don’t freak out.” Another deep breath. “I’m bi.”

Silence. Oscar and Julia look at each other, then at Rosa again. They seem to have forgotten Gina is here too.

“That’s not a real thing,” Oscar decides.

“Yes it is,” Rosa says. “I know it is because that’s who I am. I love both boys and girls, but one girl in particular.”

She walks up to Gina, pulls her up from the couch and kisses her. Oscar and Julia look away in disgust. Gina is shocked by their reaction. Everyone in her life has always been very accepting. Sure, a lot of people were confused about what “pansexual” was, but when Gina explained it to them, they just accepted her.

“Seriously?  _ That’s _ how you’re gonna react to your daughter sharing such personal news with you? Do you know how much courage that takes?” Gina snaps.

“I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t even know you!” Julia yells. “I don’t even want you in my house. Get out!”

“If she’s leaving, I’m leaving too,” Rosa says.

“Good. You can come back when you snap out of this whole bisexual thing.”

Rosa is furious.

“Good. See you never I guess. I’ll just spend my End Day alone with my wife and friends. Good luck dealing with the fact you threw out your daughter on the last day you could spend any time with her. Good luck living with the knowledge you left your daughter with a fight. Come on Gina, we’re leaving.”

Gina grabs her stuff and follows Rosa out the door. While they’re putting on their helmets, Oscar comes running out the front door.

“ _ Mija _ wait! Your End Day? You’re dying today?”

Rosa nods. “Both of us. So whatever, you don’t have to accept my sexuality. It doesn’t matter. I just wanted you to know.”

“I’m sorry for the way we reacted, but it’s just not right. You need a man. A man can take good care of you and make sure you don’t die today.”

“You know damn well that once you get the alert, there’s no fucking chance of surviving. No man could protect me from death.”

“And she doesn’t need a man,” Gina adds. “She can take damn good care of herself. She’s the most badass woman I know. She’s a cop, she’s in mortal danger every fucking day. And her being bi doesn’t mean she wouldn’t have ever found a man. She might as well have fallen in love with Marcus, but it turned out he wasn’t right for her. I am. And I’ll love her ‘till my dying breath.”

Oscar looks down at his feet, takes a deep breath and looks at Gina.

“Fine. Rosa, I accept you for who you are. But you—” he points at Gina. “If you are the reason my baby girl dies, I will hunt you down and be the reason you die today.”

“Alright that’s enough Dad,” Rosa says. “Gina, hop on. We’re leaving.”

Gina sits down behind Rosa on her motorcycle. Rosa turns it on and they drive off, away from Oscar and Julia. Away from the homophobia. Away from Rosa’s last chance to hug her parents.

  
  


Gina doesn’t know where Rosa is taking her until she can see the precinct in the distance.

“What are we doing back here?” she asks.

“Your mom kicked us out, my parents hate me now. Don’t you wanna spend the last hours you have with people who  _ actually _ like you? Our chosen family?”

“You’re right.”

_ The precinct is a dangerous place for two Deckers though _ , Gina thinks, but she doesn’t say it out loud. She doesn’t want Rosa to worry and she really does want to see the Nine-Nine again. Rosa parks her bike outside the precinct. They walk in together and take the stairs all the way to the top floor. Gina is out of breath when they finally get there. She curses the stairs internally, thinking they might be the reason she’ll die because they make her heart beat so fast it might actually fly out of her chest.

“What are you doing back here?” Amy asks.

“We wanted to spend our last moments with our family,” Gina says.

Jake comes flying out of the break room when he hears Gina’s voice. He throws himself at his friends, making Rosa lose her balance. She stumbles backwards, trips over a trash can and falls on the floor. Gina watches all of this happen with pure terror in her eyes. When she sees Rosa is okay, she slaps Jake and screams: “Be careful you buffoon!”

Jake takes a step back, looking down at his feet.

“I’m sorry. I was just happy you gays are still alive.”

“Did you say gays?”

Jake looks up, goofy grin on his face. Gina rolls her eyes at him and helps her wife up from the floor.

“Are you hurt?” she asks.

“I twisted my ankle but I’m fine.”

Rosa limps to her desk and puts her foot on the perp chair next to it. Terry runs to get ice to put on her ankle.

“What are you all staring at?” she asks. Everyone has gathered around her desk, except Hitchcock and Scully. Rosa is convinced they haven’t even noticed they’re back. Terry pushes some uniformed officers aside and hands Rosa an ice pack. 

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, really. It’ll be over in a minute, I’m not gonna die,” she says. The minute she says it, everything goes quiet. It annoys Rosa so much. “Seriously, I’m gonna die in the next ten hours,  _ I know _ , but can everyone  _ please _ be normal for a minute?”

The group of people that had gathered around her breaks up. Everyone goes back to doing their jobs, except Holt. Rosa hadn’t even noticed him before. He grabs a chair and sits down across from Rosa.

“It’s okay to be scared. Dying is final, we are all scared. Nobody wants to lose you and Gina. Give yourself time to grieve.”

“Grieve myself? That sounds dumb.”

Holt nods. “Yourself, but also Gina. You might lose her before you die. Keep that in mind. Cherish every moment you have left with her. Where is she?”

Rosa looks around. Holt was right, where  _ is _ Gina? She can’t see her anywhere. Maybe she went to the bathroom? Rosa calls Amy over to her desk.

“Amy, do you know where Gina is?”

“Yeah, she went out with Jake to get you donuts. Said it was your comfort food?”

Rosa involuntarily smiles. Anytime she gets hurt on the job, or just anytime she gets hurt, for that matter, Gina buys her donuts. They always make Rosa feel better. The loving feeling quickly fades when she remembers it’s Gina’s End Day. She jumps up, the ice pack dropping to the floor. She limps to the stairs. Amy grabs her arm.

“What are you doing?”

“Gina and I made a promise not to leave each other’s side today!” Rosa cries out. “I’m going after them, what if something happens?”

Amy tries to calm Rosa down. “Jake is with her. It’s gonna be fine. The donut place is just across the street, what could go wrong?”

Rosa sighs. She imagines all kinds of disasters that could happen on the way, but Amy is right. She shouldn’t freak out. Jake will take care of Gina. He loves her like a sister, he won’t let anyone hurt her. Amy helps Rosa get back to her desk and puts the ice back on her ankle. Right when Rosa gets comfortable again, her phone rings. It’s Jake. She picks up and questions: “Jake? What’s up?”

“Rosa, I’m so sorry.”

Panic rages in Rosa’s whole body.

“Are you crying? Jake, what happened?”

“I’m so sorry,” he sobs. “I couldn’t protect her. I tried.”

“Jake, calm the fuck down. What happened to Gina?”

“She got hit. We were about to cross the street, and I tried to pull her back but I was too late.”

“She got hit by what?”

“A bus. I’m in the ambulance with her. She’s still alive, but they don’t think she’ll make it. Please come fast,” he pleads.

Rosa hangs up, looking at all the concerned faces. Then she bursts out crying.

“She got hit by a bus,” she whispers to Amy. Her voice breaks. “She got hit. We have to go. I need to see her. She got hit…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pls don’t kill me


	9. 4:17pm

At 4:17pm, Rosa sits on the passenger seat of the police car, staring at the road ahead in complete silence. Amy is driving, sirens wailing. Rosa doesn’t even hear it. She doesn’t even hear Amy’s calming words. All she can think about is Gina.

_Gina, Gina, Gina_. 

She doesn’t blame Jake. Knowing Gina, she was probably the one who convinced him to go get donuts for Rosa. He probably tried to tell her it wasn’t a good idea, but once Gina sets her mind to something, nobody can convince her to change the plan. Rosa clutches her backpack to her chest. It’s a cheap attempt to try and comfort herself. Strangling the backpack is not going to bring Gina back. A faint ringing brings Rosa back to reality.

“That’s my phone,” Amy says. “It’s in my bag, do you mind grabbing it?”

Rosa turns around and grabs Amy’s bag from the backseat.

“It’s Jake,” Rosa announces before picking up and putting him on speaker. “Hey Jake, Amy is driving. How is Gina doing?”

“She’s hanging on, but it won’t be long. I’m so sorry Rosa. Where are you guys?”

“We’re almost there, five more minutes. Please take care of her. Tell her I love her. Tell her I’m coming.”

“I will,” Jake reassures her.

Jake hangs up.

“We’ll get there Rosa. I promise you’ll see her before it’s too late,” Amy says.

She drives a bit faster, without ever driving recklessly. Rosa zips open her backpack, looking for her phone. She has to tell Darlene to come to the hospital too. She has a right to know. Instead of her phone, the first thing Rosa sees is a black sweater. She put it in there earlier today when she found it in her locker. Gina’s favourite sweater. The one that reads _Gina knows best_. Rosa promptly forgets about calling Darlene. She takes the sweater out and smells it. It smells like Gina. Without thinking, she unbuckles her seatbelt to put on the sweater.

“Rosa! Do you _want_ to die? Put on your seatbelt!”

And in that moment, Rosa remembers it’s her End Day too. She had forgotten all about it when she got Jake’s first call. She figures there’s no point in buckling up now, since she can already see the Brooklyn Methodist Hospital parking lot. She pulls the sweater over her head and puts the backpack down. There’s nothing important in it, no point in taking it inside with her. Amy drives up to the entrance and lets Rosa get out of the car.

“I’ll be right there, you should go already. Gina is in room 3521. Jake is with her.”

Rosa nods and runs inside. She is full on sprinting. It gets her some weird looks from the people in the halls, but she couldn’t care less. She hurries up the stairs, all the way to the third floor. She takes a right into hallway five and stops in front of room 21. Through the window in the door, she can see Jake sitting on the edge of Gina’s bed. He’s crying. Rosa is scared she’s too late. That Gina has died before she got here. She tries to be strong. For Gina, if she’s still alive. For Jake, because he is not dying, but his two best friends are.

Rosa finally musters up the courage to open the door. It feels like she has been standing outside the room, staring at Jake for eternity, but in reality it has been less than a minute. She hasn’t looked at Gina yet. She’s too afraid. When she walks in, Jake doesn’t even look up. Gina is attached to a heart monitor. It’s still beeping. Silently, slowly. But it _is_ beeping. Gina is still alive. Rosa sits down on the other side of the bed, across from Jake. They don’t say anything to each other. Jake is quietly mumbling stuff, Rosa can’t make out any words. He’s a whimpering mess.

“Gines. I’m here,” Rosa says. It comes out barely louder than a whisper. Gina doesn’t open her eyes. She doesn’t do anything.

“I’m glad I made it in time. I was so scared babe. _I was so scared_. But we’re here. We’re together. I won’t leave you. I’ll never leave your side anymore. I promise.” Rosa rambles on. She wants Gina to know she’s here. She grabs Gina’s hand and kisses it softly. It’s scraped and partly wrapped in a bandage. Rosa touches her own face, scraped from their walk in the park, merely four hours ago. It feels like a thousand years have passed since then. 

“You saved me,” she says. “You saved me from that scooter guy today. And I couldn’t even protect you while you were getting donuts. I’m so sorry.” Rosa’s voice cracks. “I love you so much Gines. Please don’t leave me. _Please_. You can’t. Not right now.”

Gina’s hand moves. It’s not much, it might have been just a nerve pull, but it means the world to Rosa. A small way of saying goodbye without being able to speak. A teeny tiny hand squeeze. We’re only focussing on the positive here. Gina moved. Gina is still with her. Gina is alive. And maybe, just maybe, Gina can hear her.

All this time, Jake has just been sitting there, listening to Rosa saying goodbye. He has already said goodbye. Rosa deserves this last moment. He won’t interrupt it. One thing he won’t do is leave. Gina is practically his sister and he is not leaving his side. Not if this is the last chance he’ll ever get to see her. He wipes away a tear. His eyes are all dried up. He’s done crying. No more tears left to cry. When he looks at Rosa, he can see she’s fighting tears back. Hard. As a way of comforting her, he puts his left hand on her back. His right is holding Gina’s hand. And that’s it. That’s all he needs right now. He doesn’t even notice Amy standing in the doorway, tears running down her cheek.

Rosa has run out of things to say to Gina. She’s not good at this. Rosa is not a person who says goodbye. She just leaves and eventually people will notice she’s gone. But she has to. She wants Gina to know she loves her. But Gina looks like she has given up. The tiny squeeze was all she could do. It was the only goodbye Rosa would get from her wife. And she doesn’t know if she can live with that. Bright side? She doesn’t have to. 

Rosa hears a ringing in her ears. All the emotions have become too much for her. Next to her, she sees Jake sob uncontrollably. Amy comes in, also sobbing. She stands behind Jake and hugs him, whispering nonsense Rosa can only assume should be comforting words. _And this stupid ringing_ . She wishes it would stop. A nurse comes running in and gently pushes Jake and Amy aside. _The ringing_ . It has to stop. It’s annoying. The nurse shakes her head. Rosa doesn’t get it. Is it a disapproving shake? Did she do something wrong? Is she not allowed to sit on the side of the bed? She needs to think clearly, but the ringing is making it impossible. It’s deafening. She sees the nurse say something to a crying Jake and Amy, but it all sounds very far away. They try to pull her away, but Rosa doesn’t want to. Why can’t she stay with Gina? And then she finally looks up. Away from Jake and Amy. Away from the nurse. Away from Gina. She sees the heart monitor flatlining. She hears the ringing more clearly now. It’s not just in her head. It’s coming from the monitor. And it’s _deafening_.


	10. 6:02pm

At 6:02pm, Rosa, Jake and Amy walk into the hospital’s main hall. They’re all dead silent. Gina’s passing is too recent, too fresh, but they have to move on. Because a second shock is coming in the next six hours. Everyone knows, but nobody says anything about it. Nobody wants to be reminded of the big tragedy it is.

“Should I get the car?” Amy asks.

“Where are we going?” Rosa asks in return.

“Anywhere that’s not here. Anywhere where our dead friend isn’t present.”

Rosa shakes her head and finally cries. She has been holding it in for so long now, hoping it would never come out. But here it is. The tears start falling. The first one rolls down Rosa’s cheek, onto the sweater. It bounces on the N in Gina and stays there. Jake guides Rosa to a bench near the entrance and sits down with her.

“We can stay for a while if you want,” he says in a soft, tender voice.

Rosa nods. “I’d like that.”

They sit in silence, all three of them crying. Rosa hears a faint siren, coming from an arriving ambulance. She wonders how she has never paid actual attention to the sirens before. She lives and works in a city where sirens are pretty much all you hear, whether it’s police, ambulance or the fire department. Somehow, she has always tuned it out. But now, she realises that the sirens could mean someone’s life is changing for good. Maybe their husband is going to jail, maybe their house burned down, or maybe  _ their wife died _ . 

Rosa still can’t quite grasp the fact that she’ll never get to see Gina again. She’ll never get to hold her hand again, never get to kiss her again and worst of all, she’ll never be silly again. Not just being silly with Gina, but in general. She’s not up for being happy anymore.

“I think I need something to eat,” Rosa says.

“Okay, sure. Let’s go see if the cafeteria has anything to offer.”

The three of them end up at a table with a plate of mashed potatoes and steamed veggies for Rosa. She just pokes around in it with her fork, wondering how she ever thought she could eat right now.

“Are you going back to the precinct after this is over?” Rosa asks in an attempt to lighten the mood. It doesn’t work, because Jake and Amy just stare at her with pity in their eyes. 

“Okay, will you stop that? I’m still here, fucking enjoy it while it lasts.”

“We’re sorry Rosa. It’s just—” Amy cuts off her own sentence. “Jake, isn’t that Russo?”

Amy motions to a man who just walked in. Jake turns around and recognises him from his case file. Russo is a perp he and Boyle have been chasing for months for a multitude of crimes. He was involved with drugs, human trafficking and rape. They hadn’t been able to catch him yet, because he never comes out in public. Boyle assumed he had fled the country and assumed a new identity. Turns out he was wrong, because this is him, in the flesh.

“That’s him. Be careful, he’s dangerous. We don’t know what he’s capable of. What is he doing here?”

“I’ll call the squad for backup,” Amy says.

“What’s your plan, Jake?” Rosa asks.

“I don’t know yet. We can’t do anything that will drive him away, he’ll flee for real.”

“The squad is coming, they’ll be here in ten minutes. We can’t lose him.”

“I’ll help,” Rosa says.

“No way. You’re going home, enjoy your last few hours.”

Rosa rolls her eyes. Then she hears a gunshot. In a reflex, she ducks and pulls Jake and Amy down with her. Panic arises in the cafeteria.

“Can you see anything?” Jake asks.

“It’s Russo. He has a gun, one civilian down.”

Amy repeats this in her walkie, asking nearby officers to respond. Jake starts to get up, but Amy pulls him back down.

“What are you  _ doing _ ?”

“I have to do something, don’t I?” he says, and he gets up again. He aims his gun at Russo.

“Put your weapon down!”

Another shot. Rosa can’t see what’s happening, but Jake seems fine. She crawls away to another table, trying to get a better view. Jake is trying to calm down Russo, outside sirens are wailing. Another shot. Rosa can only see one civilian down, so she assumes the other two shots missed. A SWAT team bursts through the door in bulletproof vests. The squad is right behind them, also in bulletproof vests. Russo turns around to face them and starts shooting without aiming or thinking, trying to hit as many people as possible. Rosa can’t see what’s happening anymore, chaos reigns. Officers are guiding civilians to safety, Jake and Amy are amongst them. They’re too vulnerable without bulletproof vests.

“Rosa, get over here!” Jake screams.

“Peralta! This isn’t over!”

Russo shoots again. A bullet flies in Amy’s direction. Jake shields her and ducks. The bullet misses, but another is flying at them fast. Russo has it in for Jake. Understandable, considering he tried to get him locked up.

“Jake, get behind me,” Rosa says.

Jake protests, but Rosa pushes him behind her. They try to get away through the door that leads to the terrace, making sure civilians go first. Both Jake and Amy have their guns drawn, ready to shoot if needed. Rosa is pushed through the door, because she isn’t armed. Another bullet fires and Jake isn’t fast enough. He’s focussed on getting other people to safety.

“Jake!”

  
Rosa flies back through the door and pushes Jake to the floor. Immediate, ungovernable pain shoots through her entire body. She has been hit, but she can’t tell where. She falls down on top of Jake and sees Russo fall down on the other side of the cafeteria. He has been hit by someone on the SWAT team. Rosa hears Jake’s faint voice. He crawled from under her and turns her around, so she’s on her back. She feels Amy’s hands putting pressure on her wound. It hurts even more than when the wound was just  _ there _ . She thinks about Gina. About how much pain she must have been in. Her mind gets foggy. She can’t think anymore, she can only feel pain and Amy’s hands and her own tears. She hears her own screams, but they sound far away. She has no idea how long she’s been on the floor. Jake says something, but she can’t hear him. And then, just as sudden as the pain came, she can’t feel anything anymore. She can’t hear anything anymore. She can’t see anything anymore. She can finally let go. Rosa has never believed in life after death, but right now, she really wants to believe, for one simple reason: Gina.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm very sorry


End file.
